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I feel a strong feeling of grief ?

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I feel a strong feeling of grief ?

Postby lewisjwood » Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:17 pm

Some things im experiancing of lately are . Being watching secret of women video and reading model magnet every day , also the secret of women ebook .

Here is whats going on with me ,

I have a strong feeling of grief now , i want to cry but im so closed off i only feel pain and vunrability it seems like the grounding is causing a thousand thougthts to go througth my head im remembering shit that pissed me of ages ago i was geting quite angry before at women and my self .

I went to a club on thursday i felt great , very comfortable in my self sober then i had a few pints and saw all the other guys hooking up with hot girls and the girls seemed right into them to , this triggerd my own feeling of inadequacy and i felt like a looser i lost it somehow .

Something im having a hard time shaking is i dont feel like i can ever get this meeting women handled im pressing on no matter what im not giving up and doing the grounding anyways but ive had 7 years of complete zero success .

I have a hard time coming up with stuff to say to people im comfortable around let alone new people sometimes like at the begining of thursdays i was very secure in myself but still i wouldent know wht to say i felt fearless and even intimadated a bouncer lol .

At the moment im a wussy and ive being working for years on my self esteem etc but i realised that all the problems i have are to do with women i dont have bad self esteem but it seems when as a man i cant attract a women i think this effects everybody i hate to say it but this is really effecting me now not being able to get a women and having no one being interested ive gone very validation seeking now i just want women to want me ... im not that fucking bad am i ?

Any one else being like this and transformed to a guy who can get women , i find it hard to be constantly positive but usually i am .
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Postby jared2010 » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:05 pm

lewis,

That´s a lot of power pressing against you there, it is not a natural force doing that, but a constructed force from the Social Matrix. Again, you are pressing against it w/social dynamic definition of success, that is bringing you down there.

Natural Grounding is bringing out that old stuff. I do think you have come up to a level where you see the social matrix and the natural paradigm, and you can differentiate yourself from it now, by realizing that your "I want women to want me" comes from the matrix programs running inside that system of yours.

It is the matrix screaming back at you, but realize that natural forces are stronger! So use RelationalMastery by taking a natural paradigm now, instead of social paradigm.

Energy should be concentrated on Grounding now!
Last edited by jared2010 on Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby david » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:07 pm

Again I can totally relate to what you're going through. Remember this pain period is good, it means you're shattering your old "influenced ignorance" reality. In my two years experience going out on a semi-consistent basis as a "PUA in training", I went through the full range of emotions about myself and whether or not I was good with girls / or good enough to be a "PUA" (bs). My emotional world was so tumultous because I had placed a large emphasis on being good with girls. In my opinion it's a losing battle to place such value on that goal and to go out and try to achieve it like this were a game. That is the biggest flaw of the community. Natural sexual relations between a man and woman is NOT a game, unless you truly do want to be restricted by the rules of a game (social or inner/personal). When I let go of needing to win or needing to have an idea of myself as "good with girls" is when I just relaxed and accessed true self confidence. Going about the world NOT sarging like a maniac and NOT concerned about where I fit on the totem pole of ladies men - everything just opened up and I began to connect with girls naturally and spontaneously and people as well. Like night and day. Let go of that goal in your head and let things be. Trust that nature has built the process inside of you, not your social self or your inner self. Then it is about showing up, being indifferent to good/bad outcome, knowing and confiding in your own power and energy, simply enjoying yourself in the moment. You will find that the girls warm up and start to "game" you - in forms of questions or flirts or talking about themselves. Stay indifferent, cool, relate and enjoy. :)
Last edited by david on Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:17 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby Nexus Paradigm » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:07 pm

One thing I learned on this forum is to attribute love to these feelings that you are going through don't resist, ignore, repress, or push them to the side they will only intensify and come back stronger.

Feel these emotions completely and eventually they will slide right off , sounds like you still have attachment to the outcome just let it go be your 100% naturally attractive self right upfront you don't need no women remember you have a purpose in this world its up to you to discover it.

I'm still working on my life purpose which actually helps take the focus off women and onto you which ironically is what women want even though they won't tell you.

Do that lewisjwood find your purpose that comes first everything else is second, third, fourth (I'm sure you get the point) just cherish the womans natural character and energy desire nothing from them and talk with them with an open heart and things just start to happen I'm pretty sure others have different approaches but thats my perspective.

I'm continuing to learn more everyday I'm on here I'm not where I want to be yet but things are turning around slowly just be yourself continue the programs and I'm sure it will work out but most important of all man remember to do this.......


Have FUN life is too short to take seriously all the time I know I was once like that remember life is the journey never the destination


Be on the lookout for a link I think you may have a better understanding if you read this article I'll have it up sometime this weekend it may take time to fully comprehend because of your state right now but just read it over and over it will click one day :wink:
Live With Passion, Show All That's Living Compassion, Trust The Universe, Believe In Yourself

Set The World Ablaze With Your Love!!!
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Postby lewisjwood » Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:19 pm

Cheers guys , i couldent really see how much i am being socially influenced even thougth i constantly write about it , i dident realise that .

Loads more grounding for me , i jusy looked up some brent stuff on give up wanting im going to focus on being carefree .

Yep so im going to sit down and take a hard look at myself and get rid of the matrix programing , time for a new paradim .

Yeh man ill check that artical asoon as ya get it up : )

David - i used to be non caring about meeting women , i too got wrongly taugtht from PUA stuff its had the bigest neg inflience on me of anything in my life , until now im changing that .

1 . Im going to focus on natural grounding
2 . Geting away from the matrix , ive stoped watching tv and radio .
3 . Start geting intouch of mny natural sise
4 . Becoming indifferent and carefree / detached from what happens etc .
5 . looking into lifes purpose .
6 . Doing other things besides always thinking about women , i just got a job again so im nolonger have all day to think crap .

8)
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Postby shay2000 » Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:32 pm

lewisjwood wrote:Cheers guys , i couldent really see how much i am being socially influenced even thougth i constantly write about it , i dident realise that .

Loads more grounding for me , i jusy looked up some brent stuff on give up wanting im going to focus on being carefree .

Yep so im going to sit down and take a hard look at myself and get rid of the matrix programing , time for a new paradim .

Yeh man ill check that artical asoon as ya get it up : )

David - i used to be non caring about meeting women , i too got wrongly taugtht from PUA stuff its had the bigest neg inflience on me of anything in my life , until now im changing that .

1 . Im going to focus on natural grounding
2 . Geting away from the matrix , ive stoped watching tv and radio .
3 . Start geting intouch of mny natural sise
4 . Becoming indifferent and carefree / detached from what happens etc .
5 . looking into lifes purpose .
6 . Doing other things besides always thinking about women , i just got a job again so im nolonger have all day to think crap .

8)



lewisjwood, you might want to check out my latest post, it could help you
see things more clearly + it's got some tips for better grounding:

http://www.relationalmastery.com/amembe ... .php?t=816
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Re: I feel a strong feeling of grief ?

Postby HMWH » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:58 pm

..
Last edited by HMWH on Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby mantra » Sat Jun 27, 2009 12:25 am

LewisJwood, wassup dude, I am mantra. Through your stay and journey on this forum, you will heal yourself and purge all these negativities. I used to be exactly like that. Worse than that I was addicted to porn for 5 years and guess what, right now im 17. yup. So around me everyone was 'getting' some, while I remained a social outcast Geek, so to say. Now Im not saying that's you, but that's where I was.

Now listen, when I first started grounding, all these negative feelings and emotions rose to the surface and what I used to do is reject them and push them aside and they will only come back stronger. Accept these negativites and eventually they will purge and remeber if you want to cry, just CRY, let it out of your system, same with anger, frustration etc.... just let it out.

There is a wonderful process that has helped me. Imagine the ideal you 90 days from now. The perfect you, feel what it would feel like to be the perfect you and visualize. How you will interact, how you will dress, present yourself etc....

Then, TAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF YOUR LIFE, that doesn't look like that. The visualization will help you get into a very positive happy, state of mind. This will really help you get rid of negativity.

Let me tell you the ultimate truth that I've realized. Love yourself, before you love others. If you don't have the love in you, how will you give it to others? If you reach a certain level of self love, self acceptance. You will be very comfortable in your own skin, making interactions, easy and natural. The way that they are meant to be. The hardest thing would be to accept yourself as you are! You always have people and society trying to make you into something. No one tells you that you are fine the way you are. Tell yourself that, before you move on. Let me know how it goes LewisJ

Cheers,

Mantra
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Postby Nexus Paradigm » Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:40 am

LewisJWood

I found the article I hope this helps you what I'm trying to convey to you as far as letting go of attachment and outcome I think because of this article I became lazy but now I can get back on footing and start improving myself I'm taking it one step at a time anyway after this I will PM you with some other information as far as purpose goes, here's the link......


http://www.anmolmehta.com/blog/2007/06/ ... t-3-words/

Read it carefully enjoy
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Set The World Ablaze With Your Love!!!
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Postby lewisjwood » Sat Jun 27, 2009 5:45 am

Hey everyone who posted thx :D Eady Im going to do that finding ones purpose exercise tonight and do an all nighter again for grounding ill see what i can come up with .

Dude i had to loose my virginity to a hooker at 19 lol , i would of being 23 otherwise , but realy who cares its not sex im looking for , i prefer to cuddle up to a women .

Yes ive being reperessing my emotions for years now im quite blank i actually a few years ago ( i hate to tell you all this but il risk being judged ) i got addicted to meth and took lots of ecstacy , coke , speed etc for a year period then i just one day walked away from it all and never looked back . Dont ask me how i got into that situation in the first place i dont know its gone now , its being over a year and i dont touch anything exept maybe half a pil now and again when im heading out , i learnt lots of lessons from that period , but it shut me down emotionaly a bit , grounding will be good .

That visulisation is from zan ya ? it sounds like whats in his dvds , i know all my other life goals and its just women were im struggling for the short term .

I guess this emotional turmoil is good i mean im not the only person to go througth it , im looking forward to the day when these problems will be gone...... but not yet i have to face them .

MICHAELSTGEORGE - Yes it was all this david d any mystery method crap that lead to me beliving i was inadequate and i was a wuss and no one is attracted to me . Im pissed off at it all i was doing fine without it , im left from the seduction communitys crap im going to be a anti seduction community terroist group ..... :twisted: lol i make my self laugth .

I guess that my problems are nothing special the same as everyones lol .




mantra wrote:LewisJwood, wassup dude, I am mantra. Through your stay and journey on this forum, you will heal yourself and purge all these negativities. I used to be exactly like that. Worse than that I was addicted to porn for 5 years and guess what, right now im 17. yup. So around me everyone was 'getting' some, while I remained a social outcast Geek, so to say. Now Im not saying that's you, but that's where I was.

Now listen, when I first started grounding, all these negative feelings and emotions rose to the surface and what I used to do is reject them and push them aside and they will only come back stronger. Accept these negativites and eventually they will purge and remeber if you want to cry, just CRY, let it out of your system, same with anger, frustration etc.... just let it out.

There is a wonderful process that has helped me. Imagine the ideal you 90 days from now. The perfect you, feel what it would feel like to be the perfect you and visualize. How you will interact, how you will dress, present yourself etc....

Then, TAKE EVERYTHING OUT OF YOUR LIFE, that doesn't look like that. The visualization will help you get into a very positive happy, state of mind. This will really help you get rid of negativity.

Let me tell you the ultimate truth that I've realized. Love yourself, before you love others. If you don't have the love in you, how will you give it to others? If you reach a certain level of self love, self acceptance. You will be very comfortable in your own skin, making interactions, easy and natural. The way that they are meant to be. The hardest thing would be to accept yourself as you are! You always have people and society trying to make you into something. No one tells you that you are fine the way you are. Tell yourself that, before you move on. Let me know how it goes LewisJ

Cheers,

Mantra
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Postby Rion » Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:52 am

Accept these negativites and eventually they will purge and remeber if you want to cry, just CRY, let it out of your system, same with anger, frustration etc.... just let it out.


natural grounding breaks up the encrusted/formed mud around your diamond of natural ability...crying (purging) washes the chunks of mud away like rain. think of crying like rain. or like a good hot sauna for 20 minutes to remove toxins and impurities.

as far as the other issues. if you're struggling and you want to dive in and see the other extreme (and break a huge dry spell). get on a flight to pattaya or angeles city. it doesn't represent the median of 'most' reality but it will show you the other extreme...where women are all over you anyways, no matter your level of history or character. it's an extrapolation of nature instead of it's antithesis in modern social western culture.

it would just be more 'experience' and leverage to change your reality. remember we're valuing nature, not SOCIAL and that's why a lot of guys don't get it or still have a hard time with that idea of trying to figure things outside of their own limited subjective tunnel vision in front of them. b/c they're not natural in touch with their roots yet and b/c women still aren't responding, they're stuck in a cycle.

'runaway' is a 'you don't know until you know' kind of a thing (which is still frowned upon on even by plenty on naturalgame.com). many guys (most) are trying to make a natural experience out of something they still don't understand (ie. all pua's) and trying to force it through when they're only communicating socially and personally.

their own ethnocentricity, social-centricity and inner game is the main thing holding them back from a natural reality with women (even in their own area code). sometimes you just have to go to the source to find the gold.

grounding is the key however so is real life experience. date more natural women (vs. only trying to bring out the nature of suppressed western women while you're still weaker) will really help accelerate all of it. even experiences with fun, naughty girls sometimes can help form together a new experience/history for guys who have to have more leverage for real change.

why take years when you could take months? even consider living in a more natural country just to balance out from all of the poison for the past many years.

to me it's so clear and i know you can do it (get where you want to be and beyond). consider coaching if you can afford it.
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Postby shay2000 » Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:06 pm

lewisjwood,

I can understand the pain you are going thorugh. I'm living in Israel which is a very unnatural reality. The social matrix has taken over my country in a very extreme way and it's getting stronger all the time.
I now see even 15 year old girls dressing and behaving like their social alpha models: the Paris Hilton, Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears......
Our local celebrities are dressing and acting like the American celebrities
so our women just don't have any real natural role models.

I was in the army and I have been in combat and dangrous situations, but I still had fear around women and women were not responding to me all these years. I have friends and I have talked to other guys that were also fighters in the army and they also admit they are having problems to attract women: just goes to show you how strong the social matrix is 8)

And if you have listened to Rion's last MP3 podcast:
"Breaking the limits of inner and outer game", and you have been involved in the seduction community for a while,
You probably noticed that no matter how you look at it, all of the industry advise comes down to: You suck. You are the problem...
so much inner game work to see very little results in the end, and the women end up being alone too. I see so many single attractive women in their 30s who haven't found anyone (and these women have so many guys wanting them and courting them) and also the divorce rates are going sky high. So everyone loses.........

Regarding the general industry's advise:
I think it's the same with Zan, althogh his teachings are a little closer to natural game (comapred to Mystery, David D. and the others), accroding to Zan women are perfect (or almost perfect) and you are the problem.
I watched all of his DVD programs (so I'm not just saying it in thin air)
Some of the stuff he is saying are true- like having a higher purpose in life which is not women, not to apologize for who you are......
But Zan's trainings (and his community) are missing out on the core principles of attraction: masculine energy, female energy, relational
independence, differentiating between social\inner and natural.

Like one of the guys on the forum said very well:
Giving women power at the nonverbal unconscious energy level means you are not being attractive period!!
You can triple wink and smile, love women like you invented the very concept of love, and be the Indiana Jones of adventure and you are no different than the average chump out there struggling like mad.

After watching Zan's DVDs programs and trying to apply it I was still struggling like mad and got 0 results :roll:
And I also spent some time on Zan's forum and saw so many guys beating their heads into the ground over social nit picky stuff that means nothing.

So to sum it up, This is the best place to be in as far as natural game and
attraction. It will take some time, but the changes you see will be huge, real and permanent. 8)
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Postby Naled » Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:15 pm

rion007 wrote:
Accept these negativites and eventually they will purge and remeber if you want to cry, just CRY, let it out of your system, same with anger, frustration etc.... just let it out.


natural grounding breaks up the encrusted/formed mud around your diamond of natural ability...crying (purging) washes the chunks of mud away like rain. think of crying like rain. or like a good hot sauna for 20 minutes to remove toxins and impurities.

as far as the other issues. if you're struggling and you want to dive in and see the other extreme (and break a huge dry spell). get on a flight to pattaya or angeles city. it doesn't represent the median of 'most' reality but it will show you the other extreme...where women are all over you anyways, no matter your level of history or character. it's an extrapolation of nature instead of it's antithesis in modern social western culture.

it would just be more 'experience' and leverage to change your reality. remember we're valuing nature, not SOCIAL and that's why a lot of guys don't get it or still have a hard time with that idea of trying to figure things outside of their own limited subjective tunnel vision in front of them. b/c they're not natural in touch with their roots yet and b/c women still aren't responding, they're stuck in a cycle.

'runaway' is a 'you don't know until you know' kind of a thing (which is still frowned upon on even by plenty on naturalgame.com). many guys (most) are trying to make a natural experience out of something they still don't understand (ie. all pua's) and trying to force it through when they're only communicating socially and personally.

their own ethnocentricity, social-centricity and inner game is the main thing holding them back from a natural reality with women (even in their own area code). sometimes you just have to go to the source to find the gold.

grounding is the key however so is real life experience. date more natural women (vs. only trying to bring out the nature of suppressed western women while you're still weaker) will really help accelerate all of it. even experiences with fun, naughty girls sometimes can help form together a new experience/history for guys who have to have more leverage for real change.

why take years when you could take months? even consider living in a more natural country just to balance out from all of the poison for the past many years.

to me it's so clear and i know you can do it (get where you want to be and beyond). consider coaching if you can afford it.

my God yesssss rion!
Was to philipines and I can only love those girls !
Even without talking to them I could sense their loving pure feminine energy.
Social alpha women? I don't even look at them now.... I cannot be attracted to an angry low energy girl.....
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Postby HMWH » Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:23 pm

..
Last edited by HMWH on Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby lewisjwood » Sat Jun 27, 2009 7:03 pm

Damm why when i spend ages writing a post the stupid forum tells me i have to log back in and i loose everything i posted ahhh , i just spent a hour writing a post :evil: .

Ive read all of your posts guys and responded but i cant be botherd writing my big reply again now its lost ahh.

Rion , Im going to avoid clubs for a while its just pissing me off and im wasting money ill save my money for Pattaya and if i can afford it coaching ill look at the natural game go stuff i think it is a great idea to break out of my old ways , ill see how i go with money .

It would be good to see you in action because it would give me a great idea of how things work etc not to mention it would completly rock and be alot of fun , im not naive i like to see stuff to belive it i like to come to my own conclusion so to speak , ive listened to to much stuff that hasent served me well so im cautious .

I do belive you because ive got real word experiance which explains what your saying is true , the charactor continuim for example , a picture telling a thousand words and explaining so much .

While im saving ill keep up with relm and s.a.m and the grounding . It cant be too expensive going to pattaya i dont think , how long is a good time to go im thinking a month but ill be alone i wouldent be used to that i wouldent know what to do with myself but thats good even more reason to go their life experiance and a new reality .

I stoped all my newsletters from everyone exept rion i dont want anything to do with all the other crap that caused more problems than good .

Dr paul is concentrating on inner and social thats it , so how does he explain how loosers get hot women ? Some of my female freinds have freinds who are like strippers and theyre in fhm magazine but the boyfreind is a looser , never worked , very ugly and doesent talk much i havent met him but thats what ive being told its a how the hell does he get her situation , ive seen it countless times but still i was hearing innergame and soocial skills these guys are crap at both lol .

Obvious now theyre high in natural charactor , i mean when you think about it if all of the normal guys maxed out on natural charactor badboys would be the ones who are crap with women theyre only high on the natural end , were as the normal guys would be better on the inner and social so ..... If dr paul and anyone says its all inner and social then how does it explain all the guys like i described geting women all the time ?

David d is a great marketer and buisiness man , i sighned up for his get altitude program newsletter . How to make lots of money from information products hmmmm is that admiting he rips guys offf ?

Anyways im of to do some grounding .
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